


Logically Illogical

by orphan_account



Series: CaptainEnterprise (Star Trek Youtube AU) [9]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Human Spock, Makeover, Makeup, Multi, Science Experiments, YouTube, mentioned child death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-11-04 11:10:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10989720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Spock's got a YouTube channel now. You guys should check it out.





	1. Welcome, I will now make over Leonard

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Star trek
> 
> The main series is about Jim's channel and his planned guest appearances on those channels and I didn't want to disrupt that with too many stories about the others. So, I decided to make a story about Spock's channel. This is where Spock's videos are going to be posted, each chapter is a new video. I'm planning something similar for videos made by the other's (Scotty, Nyota, Pavel, Hikaru, etc.) that Jim doesn't appear in as a way to expand out this world.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock does Leonard's make up.

“…and be sure to check out Spock’s new channel. It’s mostly going to be tutorials for makeup and science but there are also a few random things scattered about. His first video is well worth the watch and is linked below.” Jim gave his sunshine smile to the camera. “Anyway, this is your Captain, signing off.”

Scrolling down to the description section below the video reveals a link to a video titled “Welcome, I will now make over Leonard”. A quick and excited click leads to Logically Illogical’s first video.

Spock was sitting in what was clearly the office/filming room. He was sat in a nice rolling chair. In front of him was a white table with make up on it while behind him was a chalk board and a lab set up. “Hello and welcome. I have finally given into the demands of my friends, Jim and Jim’s viewers to set up a YouTube account. This account is mostly DIY science experiments and make up tutorials. For my first video, however, Jim suggested I do something he was originally going to do on his channel. I will be putting make up on Leonard.” Spock paused to drag Leonard, who was seated on his own rolling chair, into the shot.

“Why do I put up with the things you and Jim do to me?” Leonard asked.

“Because you love us!” Jim shouted from off camera.

“Jim, you said you would be quiet.” Spock shot a weak glare off camera.

“Sorry!” Jim shouted again. “I’m just going to quietly edit my video.”

“Yeah right,” Leonard muttered under his breath.

“To get back to the point,” Spock said loudly to interrupt any argument that might erupt between his boyfriends, “Leonard is actually the one who set up this filming area for me.”

Spock stood from his seat and the Camera angel changed as the video switched cameras. Jim was shown for a moment sitting at the desk with his glasses on, hair mused and nestled up in a too big hoodie and grey sweatpants before the camera turned to show the whole of Spock’s filming area.

“Leonard hung this rail, that allows for the curtain and makeup station to be a background when filming experiments and to be out of the way when filming makeup.” Spock pulled the curtain out before pushing it back against the wall. 

“The chalkboard works in a similar way, though Leonard made it to where it can be pushed up into the ceiling or pulled down into the room. This allows and the science station it to be a back ground for makeup videos and out of the way for science videos.” Spock pushed the chalkboard up before pulling it back down. 

“Leonard set all of this up,” Spock said as the cameras switched back to the still camera. Leonard was blushing hard but seemed pleased with himself. He was even more pleased with himself when Spock planted a kiss on his cheek.

“Now it’s time to get to the real purpose of the video and that is to put make up on my boyfriend.” Spock had an excited glint in his eye as he turned to Leonard.

“Oh, Lordy,” Leonard said looking skyward. “Go for it I guess.”

“Gladly Ashayam,” Spock said picking up a bottle of spray on primer. “Your face is extremely dry if you haven’t shaved in a day, which you didn’t do last night or this morning, even though I asked you to.”

“I forgot,” Leonard said as Jim started giggling off camera.

“Because your skin is dry, I’m going to spray this moisturizing primer on your face.” Spock sprayed the primer on Leonard’s face which proved to be difficult as Leonard kept flinching back every time the spray hit his face. When he opened his mouth to object he ended up inhaling a mouthful of it and went into a coughing fit.

“Leonard, we have barely started,” Spock said with a concerned look on his face.

“That’s what I was afraid to hear,” Leonard said before taking in Spock’s face. Leonard reached up to push Spock’s hair behind his ear. “Don’t worry about it Sweetheart, I’m made of tougher stuff then that.”

Spock still looked hesitant. “Come on, make me look pretty,” Leonard said with a smile. Spock finally relented and returned to spraying the primer on Leonard’s face.

“I’m putting concealer on your eyebags before I do anything else,” Spock said. Leonard made a discontent noise in the back of his throat. “Don’t lie to yourself Leonard, you know you have them.”

Once done with that Spock pulled out a foundation stick. As Spock drew the stick across Leonard’s forehead, Leonard quipped, “Are we putting on war paint or are you drawing a dick on my forehead?”

Spock huffed. “I’m putting foundation on you,” Spock said as he finished drawing on Leonard’s cheek. Spock paused for a moment to contemplate Leonard’s facial hair.

“Jim?” Spock called.

“Yeah?” Jim replied.

“Do you know how to put on makeup around facial hair? I’ve never had to do it before.” Spock handed the foundation stick over to Jim, when Jim made his way into the frame. Jim made dots between Leonard’s mouth and beard. 

Jim grimaced. “I don’t know something like that. Just work around it I guess.” Jim dropped a kiss on Spock and Leonard’s heads before wondering back out of frame.

“That wasn’t very reassuring,” Leonard said was he pulled out a foundation brush. Spock took the brush from his hand and used it to blend the foundation on Leonard’s face.

“You will be fine. Though it would be smart not to antagonize the person doing your make up.” Spock pulled back to look over Leonard. “I suppose that is as good as you will get.”

“Hey,” Leonard called, jabbing Spock in his side. “Don’t be mean.”

Spock smirked before pulling out a pair of tweezers. “No,” Leonard said forcefully. “No,” he repeated when Spock pouted.

“Fine,” Spock said, “But something must be done about your eyebrows.”

“Nothing wrong with my eyebrows,” Leonard muttered.

“You have a bald spot, Leonard.” Spock pulled out a brown eyebrow pencil and started to outline Leonard’s eyebrow.

“What?” Leonard squeaked out, reaching for his hair. Jim could be heard chuckling in the background.

“Your eyebrows, Leonard. Your eyebrows have a bald spot. Not your hair,” Spock said as he filled in Leonard’s eyebrow. “Right here,” he continued placing his finger over a section of Leonard’s eyebrow, “all of your eyebrow hair is growing away from this point and as a result it appears blank.”

“I’ve never noticed that,” Leonard said trying to lean forward and look into the mirror. Spock pushed him back into his chair.

“Jim and I both have noticed and we once had a thirty-minute conversation about how much we wanted to fix it.” 

Leonard turned to look off camera. “It’s true Bones, your eyebrows have a bald spot. Don’t worry Spock and I both find it endearing. We still want to fix it, though.”

Leonard huffed. Spock paused in reaching for a contour pallet and gave Leonard a kiss. Leonard’s pout tugged reluctantly into a smile.

“I’m going to contour Leonard’s face now, maybe, if his facial hair doesn’t get in the way.” Spock brushed the highlighter into a triangle below Leonard’s eyes. Leonard went cross-eyed in response. The beauty blender had Leonard flinching every time it touched his face. When Spock was finished with his attempt to contour around Leonard’s beard he tilted his head.

“Jim,” Spock called, “come look.”

Jim’s sweatpants came into view though his head stayed out of frame this time as he grabbed Leonard’s chin and tilted his head up. “Oh, wow. I never realized just how nice Bones’ cheekbones are.” Jim rotated Leonard’s face towards the camera where Leonard’s blush could be seen. “His eyebrows look so much better. You look nice baby,” Jim said placing a kiss on Leonard’s temple.

“Keep up the good work, Spocko.” Jim kissed Spock’s lips before moving back out of frame again.

“I will try my best, Jimothy.” Spock grabbed an eyeshadow pallet and proceeded to do a blueish smokey eye. Leonard made this all the more difficult by scrunching up his eyes.

“Why are you doing that?” Spock asked between eyes.

“I don’t want the powder in my eyes.”

“I won’t get powder in your eyes Leonard. I’ve been doing this long enough to not make that mistake if you hold still.”

Eyeliner presented a whole new set of problems as Leonard’s eye kept twitching. After several minutes of getting the eyeliner pencil nowhere near Leonard’s eye, Spock once again recruited Jim to help. Jim held Leonard’s face still while also holding Leonard’s eyes closed. 

The process was sped up slightly as it was long and difficult. The end results proved well worth it. Spock took advantage of Jim’s presence and also glued on fake eyelashes while the two had Leonard pinned.

“Can I leave now?” Jim asked, humor evident in his voice.

“I believe so,” Spock replied. “I only have mascara, blush, and lipstick left to do.”

“Thank god,” Leonard whispered. “I am so done with makeup. Never again.”

“But Bones you look so nice,” Jim said from off camera. His voice barely picking up.

“Jim, is right, you do look rather nice with make up on.”

“It’s too much effort,” Leonard replied. “Way too much effort.”

Spock huffed. “Will you at least consider your eyebrows?”

“There is nothing wrong with my eyebrows!” Leonard insisted.

“Bald spot,” Jim and Spock said together.

“I like my bald spot,” Leonard said with a pout.

Spock sighed. “I suppose it can be considered cute, in a way.”

“I’ve grown rather attached, I guess,” Jim said.

“Y’all are just trying to make me feel better.”

“Pretty much,” Jim said at the same time Spock said, “That would be accurate.”

Leonard grunted. “Thanks for trying but I’ll admit my eyebrows do look better like this. I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to let one of you get ahold of me before important meetings and such.”

“Yes!” Jim shouted before barreling into the back of Leonard’s chair to hug him. Spock was smirking with satisfaction as he pulled out a tube of mascara. 

His satisfaction didn’t last long and it soon became apparent that the only way the mascara was going on was by making Leonard blink it on. The blush and lipstick proved quick, easy and relatively painless in comparison even if Spock did have to wipe lipstick off Leonard’s teeth.

The end results was rather impressive. Leonard’s face looked more open and vulnerable. His eyebrows were no longer his dominant feature and his eyes seemed brighter without bags weighing them down. The vibrant heterochromia colors were nearly mesmerizing. Somehow his lips looked even fuller than they naturally were. The emphasis of his lower face moved from his sharp jaw line to his cheekbones.

“Well?” Leonard asked hesitantly as Jim and Spock judged the final product.

“You look wonderful, Ashayam,” Spock said.

“Is it bad that I want to go ruin it now?” Jim asked.

Spock and Leonard traded looks. “I will leave that to the two of you,” Spock said shooing Jim and Leonard from the room. Jim didn’t hesitate to drag Leonard from the room.

“You can come watch,” was shouted from the other side of the office doorway.

Spock shook his head. “I would again like to thank my friends for suggesting I get a channel of my own. I also thank you for viewing. I now need to go monitor my boyfriends before Jim does something illegal or damaging. Live Long and Prosper.”

The screen went blank and the subscribe button was clicked with enthusiasm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this. I'm aiming to get Related Channels (The story for the others' YouTube channels) up before next Tuesday.
> 
> Opening the story up to other channels has circumnavigated my writer's block. This particular story was giving me issues when I tried to do it on Jim's channel but it came to life when I gave it to Spock.


	2. House Tour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spock shows his viewers around his, Jim and Leonard's house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: mentioned child death.

“Hello and welcome,” Spock was sat at his science filming desk dressed in red pajamas. “I was surprised by the result of the poll I put out. I figured more of you would be interested in the day in my life video but I suppose Jim’s vehemence to never do a house tour has something to do with the results. I am actually filming both videos in one go, hence my attire, and will post the day in my life later. For now, however, enjoy the house tour.”

The screen went black for a moment before centering on Jim sprawled out on a couch and Leonard leaned back in a recliner.

“We have just gotten back from a shopping trip,” Spock said from off camera. The picture shook as he repositioned the camera to show more of the living room. “Jim and Leonard will be useless for the next hour at least so I suppose I’ll take this time to do the house tour.”

Spock turned the camera some more to show the living room in its entirety. It was larger than previous video’s lead to believe. The room was an open floor plan with the dining room and living room taking up most of the main entrance room. The kitchen could barely be seen tucked back around the corner of the hall which ran straight down the middle of the house to the back door.

“A bit of background on the house. Jim actually drew up the plans for it. I suppose that is his reason for not wishing to make this video himself. Self-conscious artist. The style of the house is very eclectic, or so we say when someone asks. Truthfully we rarely buy new furniture despite having the money so most of this is from when were in college.”

“This is our living room,” Spock turned the camera back in the direction of Jim and Leonard. The living room took up the left side of the open floor plan. On the wall opposite the main entrance was a huge flat screen tv. The room was painted a soft green color most of the furniture was brown save the recliner Leonard laid in which was an odd shade of burgundy. 

The far-left wall was taken up by a rather large fireplace while the wall opposite the tv was bookshelves from the left wall all the way to the door.

“The fire place was supposed to be smaller but a misread of the scale gave us the monstrosity we have now. It never the less proves useful in the winter months.”

The camera rotated over to the right side of the main room. A six-person dining table sat in the center of the room with a small bar against the far wall. There was an herb garden hanging next to the door and an antique china cabinet created a makeshift divider to separate the dining room from the kitchen, which was tucked in around the corner.

“Leonard’s grandmother gave us the cabinet in her will, though no one was entirely sure why. There was a time when Jim and Leonard believed it was haunted. The only reason they ceased in this belief was because they performed an exorcism.” Despite not being able to see Spock, his exasperation with his boyfriends was clear.

Spock walked past the haunted cabinet and into the kitchen. The kitchen was surprisingly small compared to the other two rooms. “Jim wants to expand out the house to have a bigger kitchen but Leonard is against Jim knocking holes in the wall. I concur with both but neither wish to hire someone to do it.”

What counter space there was, was taken up by clutter or appliance. The only clear area was the breakfast bar. “I suppose it’s fine for home. If I want to play with an industrial sized kitchen I’d go to work. This is slightly sad to admit but the only reason the breakfast bar is clear is because that’s where we usually eat.”

Spock walked past the door leading outside and towards the hallway entrance to the kitchen. “It should be noted that Jim runs into this glass door constantly.”

Spock stood at the back door to film the other side of the hallway. There were two doors on the hall opposite the kitchen. The walls were rather bare, with only a few pieces of artwork on the wall and a picture of Joanna ‘graduating’ kindergarten. The most interesting thing about the hallway was the table tucked up under the stairs.

“Jim had the idea to place a table under the stairs so that we could play chest out of the way and with little interference.” Spock walked over to the first door and opened it.

It was a guest room. Fairly simple with a double bed, a dresser, and a desk. “Originally the room was just the bed and dresser but Jim, Leonard and I came home one day while my parents were visiting to discover my father putting the desk together. I asked him what he was doing. Apparently, he brought work with him on vacation and needed a desk to work at.”

“The only thing left down stairs,” Spock said as he left the guest room and moved to the door closest to the foot of the stairs, “is the bathroom.” It was a simple room done up in a cool blue color with tan tiles. “Surprisingly, to you guys not to me, Leonard designed all the bathrooms. Leonard grew up in a house where every bathroom was designed to look like it was a beach and absolutely refused to have anything else in his home. The guest bathroom upstairs looks much the same as does the master bath.”

Spock backed out of the room and slammed into something. Turning around showed that it was apparently Leonard. His hair was sticking up on one side and his eyes were bleary with sleep. “Wha’ya’donin?” he asked, his word slurring with sleep, “S’ ya filming the bathroom for?”

Spock reached a hand into frame and tried to tame Leonard’s hair back into place but Leonard ducked. “I am filming a house tour, remember?”

Leonard’s face looked blank, “No, Princess Jimmy’s gonna kill you over that.”

“I already asked Jim and he said it was fine so long as he didn’t have to participate. I assume you need to use the bathroom. I’ll film somewhere else.” Spock shifted so him and Leonard traded places, and Leonard looked confused as to how he got where he was.

Spock huffed off camera. “Go pee, Leonard.”

Leonard blinked, shook his head and went into the bathroom.

“You’ll have to forgive Leonard he wasn’t actually awake till those last few seconds. His tendency to sleepwalk and hold conversations in his sleep unnerves Jim. I simply find it bothersome, though I can now determine when he’s awake and when he’s not and no longer talk about important things when he’s in that state.” When Spock finished speaking they reached the top of the stairs.

The hall at the top of the stairs was just as bare as the hall down stairs. There were three doors on the left side of the hallway but only one on the right. Spock walked over to the door closest to the front of the house.

“This is Joanna’s room,” Spock said opening the door. The room was a pale purple color with white furniture taking up the room. There wasn’t a closet in the room so a large armoire took up the space next to the bathroom door.

“Jim originally designed a Jack and Jill type bedroom so that David could have his own room as well, but the car accident that killed him and Carol happened while the house was being built. Leonard quickly got the contractors to board up the doorway and we turned the room into the filming studio. Leonard was worried that if the design was left it would ultimately distress Jim. He was quite mad at us for changing it but in the long run Leonard and I believed he healed quicker.”

“Never fully healed but yeah, I’m great full for it now but it killed me slowly for about three months, how quickly he disappeared from my life.” Jim’s voice was ruff, whether it was from sleep or from crying was uncertain because Spock refused to show him on camera. 

“T'hy’la why are you up here, I thought you were still asleep?”

“Bones started cussing up a storm when he got out of the bathroom and tripped over the coffee table. Thought I’d find you and see if you wanted me to make dinner tonight. Probably should have stayed down stairs.” Jim’s voice sounded tired and heavy.

“I am sorry, I will edit this out if you wish.”

Jim didn’t give a verbal answer but considering the video was up he must have shaken his head.

“I’ll cook dinner tonight, Jim. Go cuddle with Leonard and I will take care of everything. I’m almost done here.”

There was silence save for Jim’s retreating footsteps.

Spock sighed, “This video has become more emotional than I thought it would.” He walked from Joanna’s room, and walked straight past the middle door, not bothering to show the bathroom.

“The guest bathroom up hear looks the same as the one down stairs.” Spock opened the third door to show the filming studio.

The horrendous yellow sofa sat against the left wall and a tri-pod was set up about two feet away from it. Jim’s desk, and computer sat on the far side of the room facing way from the window it sat in front of. The right side of the room was taken up by Spock’s two filming desks. 

“I won’t spend much time here,” Spock said, “as you all have probably seen plenty of this room and I told you the story behind it already.”

Sure, enough Spock left the room as soon as he finished filming it and walked across the hall to the master bedroom.

The master bedroom was done in reds and browns. A larger than king sized canopy bed was place in the center of the room. On the right wall was the entrance to the master bath and a doorway that led to one of the closets in the room. On the left wall were the other two closets.

Several instruments were lined up between the two closet doors but Jim’s violin was set out on the love seat in the corner of the right side of the room. A TV hung on the wall opposite the bed. A large rainbow-colored rug took up most of the floor space.

In addition to the two bedside tables there was a shelf placed strategically above the bed, most likely for whoever slept in the middle.  
“Leonard put the shelf up so that he could have his own separate alarm clock since he both works strange hours and likes to sleep.”

Spock walked through the room to the master bath. It was done up much like the guest bath but this room was three times as large. A Jacuzzi tub was cornered on the right of the door and a large shower took up most of the immediate left along with the toilet. Between the shower and the tub was a dressing area.

“Most of the design of the bathroom was a joke on Leonard’s part. He felt his princesses needed a royal bathroom. Needless to say, as nice as the bathroom is Jim and I did not appreciate his humor.”

Spock panned the camera around to show the three sinks lined up along the wall with the door. It was clear that the sink with the least amount of counter space was Leonard’s and it appeared that at some point between Jim’s sink and Spock’s sink their things started mixing together.

Spock finally turned the camera on himself. “So that was our home. I’ll try to post the day in my life video as soon as I can but until then Live Long and Prosper.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is long but I thought I'd put it here for anyone interested.
> 
> So originally, when this was going to be either McKirk or Spirk rather than McSpirk David was going to be a big deal kind of character in this series. However, when the story started shifting around David fell out of place and I could never find the right place to put him. Eventually the stories got to the point where it would be awkward to randomly insert him into the story without making Carol and Jim seem like the worst parents ever, looking at you Wrath of Khan. 
> 
> Then I wrote this and the layout of the house has been in my head a while now but it wasn't registering in my head that I had taken the Jack and Jill, or the David and Joanna bedroom set up and turned it into and a Joanna and office setup until I wrote this.
> 
> That was when I realized my characters got away from me and did something heartbreaking behind my back. The reason Jim and his family, friends and fans never talked about David, despite the fact that I insisted in my mind that he existed in this verse, was because he was dead.
> 
> This was an upsetting but insistent addition to this story and try as i might, even going so far as to erase David from the narrative entirely, I could not see the story or Jim's motivations anymore. David being dead, as sad as that is, has brought this story into even more focus than before. 
> 
> I have not really brought this up as it was, and is still going to be, in the last story I write for this series. Jim started YouTube as a form of therapy from when he was younger to get over trauma, I'm talking about Tarsus which was a horrid summer camp in this verse. So when David died he pulled back slightly which wasn't noticeable to his fans due to the house change until after he moved and still no videos. Eventually he managed to make a video, in the filming office/what was supposed to be his son's room, explaining about David and he worked his way slowly through this new trauma the same way he worked through Tarsus, by making videos and talking to his fans, friends and family.
> 
> I cannot and will not write the Video where Jim talks about David. I just can't. The video mentioned before will be a draw my life video and will cover all of the things mentioned in the previous paragraph. I might, if enough of you want to see it, write a story from before Jim and Bones and Spock moved to this new house where Jim films something with David in it.
> 
> If any of you want to write the story about Jim telling his fans about David feel free but I just can't do it. Just keep in mind that David and Jim are really, really close.
> 
> tl;dr: The reason behind David's death and the future plans for the series.


End file.
